There was a day back in February that I was feeling a heaviness on my mind and heart, because I was thinking about my children, as we so often do as mothers… I had noticed some things that made me feel concerned.
Now others would look at my children and likely say, what’s the big deal?? They seem fine! They would look at them and only see their good…. and they are good, for the most part. But the love and concern of a mother looks deeper than surface level…
When I stopped and really looked at them, at their lives, I started to notice things that were concerning, things that could potentially harm them; maybe not right away, but eventually, down the road. I looked close and I saw habits that I knew would not serve them well in the long run. When I look with a mother’s love and perspective, I see behind the scenes, all the good and the bad and the ugly; things that others cannot see. Sometimes things they can’t even see themselves!
Which means that I can also see their beauty and value like no one else can! I see them for who they truly are. And I love them fiercely. I fight for them! I would give my life for them! They are mine, and nothing could ever change that!
As their mother, I knew my girls before they came into the world. Their little bodies formed inside of me. I have spent every day since they were born, watching them grow and develop and learn; protecting them and guiding them. The amount of time I have spent with them means that I know them on a deeper level than others do.
Because I look at them with a unique sense of responsibility and love, I cannot in good conscience, see things that I know could cause them harm, and then just let them be… I cannot turn a blind eye and just wish them luck… No, instead my love for them motivates me to teach them, it motivates me to call out the things that may be threats, and to guide them into the ways that are better.
As I thought and prayed on these things that day, I felt the Lord speaking to my heart, that this was the same way He felt about me, as His child. I felt Him say that He loves me so much, and that He sees me with a unique sense of responsibility and love…
He looks at us as our Heavenly Father, and He sees us as His daughters. He looks with the eyes of a parent… just as I was looking at my children. He looks beyond the surface: into our hearts, our habits, into our thought patterns and motivations, and most of all, into all of our broken places…
He is saying to each of you today that He sees you. He sees you as no one else does! He looks upon you with more love than anyone ever has or will. But also with more concern. He sees and knows the things that are harming you. And he longs for you to open your heart to Him and to His love. He wants you to let down your walls, to listen to His voice and His guidance.
As only a heavenly Father can, God is looking deep into our hearts and calling for us to examine ourselves. And the more time we spend with our Heavenly Father, the more we can hear His voice as He teaches and guides us. He is saying, “Beloved, there are areas of concern, things that are harmful to you; and I cannot just leave you as you are… Will you open up to me, and let me show you what I see??”
Just as I see things in my children that others cannot, that they sometimes can’t even see, both good and bad… God sees things in you that you otherwise wouldn’t see, and He wants to show you. 1 Samuel 16:7 says that the Lord doesn’t see as man sees. Man sees the outward appearance of things. The Lord looks at the heart.
In outward appearances, our children can often seem fine, can’t they? But it’s our job as mothers to look deeper. If we don’t take the time to do that, we may miss something important: a behavior that is rooted in something deeper, something that needs to be addressed… Just so, the Lord looks deeper into us. He sees past what we do, think, and say… He sees our motivations. WHY we do what we do.
1 Corinthians chapter 13 tells us what our motivation should be: it says that we have to have LOVE! That is the key! Love has to be our motivation, our why, our driving force… This passage of scripture tells me that if I am not living and moving in love, then I am gaining nothing! And I am making nothing but noise!
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 tells me that it does not matter how good I can pray, or how good I can speak… If I don’t have love, I’m just making noise. It tells me that it does not matter how much I know, if I’m super spiritual, if I can quote the entire Bible; it doesn’t matter how gifted I am, or even how much faith I have! If I don’t have love, I am nothing! This scripture tells me that it doesn’t matter how much good I do, even if I gave away every single thing that I own… even if everyone looked at me and applauded me and were so proud of me… The bible says that even then, if I do not have LOVE, I have gained NOTHING!
The Lord looks deeper and He says that being “good” isn’t enough… So what’s the answer? What does He want from us? How can we check ourselves? How do we make sure that love is our motivation?
Well first of all, we must know the SOURCE of love, and that is our Heavenly Father. 1 John 4:16 says that God is love! Period! God is the source of Love, and if we don’t allow him to fill us and sustain us, we will not know how to be motivated by love. We will not know how to correctly love God or others.
Next, we must fully realize that God loves us completely. There is nothing we can do, or not do, to change that. And because He loves us, this also means that he will parent us. Hebrews 12:6 says that the Lord disciples those He loves. Just as I cannot love my children well and still allow them to continue in ways that would harm them, so God will correct us with His perfect love.
When I let down my walls and get to know the God that knows and loves me, my love for him will grow. As it grows, so will my love for His word and for His ways. I will desire to know him more and more. Just as a child who feels loved is more likely to respect and obey the one who loves them, so Jesus says in John 14:15: “If you love Me, you will keep my commands.” When I see the Fathers heart, I know that His commands are for my good and I desire to obey them. I desire to please Him.
Also, as I get to know God more, my love for others will grow as well. I will feel safe enough to let down walls around myself, because I will no longer be driven by fear of judgment or by comparison or by competition. When love of God fills a persons heart, it cannot help but to eventually overflow into the lives of those connected to that person. In John 13:35, Jesus says: “By this they will know that You are my follower: if you love one another.”
So if we are not being led and motivated by the love, what are we most likely being driven by? The answer is fear; which is actually the opposite of love. There are so many of us, myself included, that allow fear to be our motivator instead of love… And we don’t even realize it! This is because fear can often lead to the same actions, just done for totally different reasons. Which is why we must be careful to check our hearts!
See, if I am a tyrant parent: demanding, mean, critical…. my children will develop a fear of me, and they will obey me as a result; an obedience that is motivated by fear. The very same actions of obedience that would eventually come forth from them if they were instead loved well by me, and developed a healthy respect for me as their parent…
Now which one of those methods seem quicker and easier? To be honest, it’s the fear driven route… Which is why we must take the time to check our hearts! We may be letting fear be our why. I could have fear of letting others getting too close, fear of being seen for who I am, fear of not being good enough… I could be parenting out of fear instead of love. Fear could be affecting every relationship I have! If I haven’t found my place and my peace in the love of my heavenly Father, fear will always try to creep in!
God’s perfect love REMOVES fear! It removes our need to perform, to look good, and to not let others see how much we don’t have it together. When we stop acting from a place of fear, we can truly love God and others. 1 John 4:18 says that there is no fear in love, and perfect love drives out fear. That perfect love is the love of God!
A mother’s love sure is a powerful example of love though, isn’t it? My children can find security in the fact that I love them like no one else does. They can come to me when they mess up, and they know that won’t change my love for them. They can accept my correction and discipline, because they know that though it is unpleasant, it is motivated by my love for them. And I believe that they will be able to better love others in their lives because of the love they have received from me… May we realize that this is merely a shadow of the security that we can find in the love that our heavenly father has for us!
So to sum it all up, these are my questions for you today: Are you ready to truly open up to the love of God? Are you ready to examine yourself and let his love pinpoint any areas that you need to work on? Areas where your actions or thoughts or words may not be fully motivated by love? Areas where you may be letting fear be your motivator?
Maybe it’s fear of not being good enough, of being seen as weak or lacking or less than; or maybe it’s fear of everything falling part if you didn’t hold it all together…
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to hold everything together, Beloved! You have a Father who loves you completely, who sees you as valuable and beautiful; a Father who won’t sit by and leave you as you are, who wants to hold you together. He loves you with a perfect love that you can rest in.
And we need somewhere that we can find rest, don’t we? As mothers, we have a lot of people depending on us. Our children, our significant others, our family and friends… they depend on our love for them…
And that love that we need to have for them will flow out of a true love for God, and out of His true love and perfect love for us.
If you feel like you have never experienced the true love of God for you, today is the day! Please pray and invite that love into your heart and life.
God loves each of us so personally and so perfectly. Please open up your hearts to his love today.
For His love changes everything! <3
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