What Am I Doing Here?!

Sooo… what in the world am I doing here?!

Great question!

I’m asking myself that, as I finally sit down and stare at the keyboard… Why did I think starting a blog was a good idea again?!…. What do I possibly have to say that would be of interest to anyone??

Let’s rewind…. The past couple of years I’ve felt like there’s just so much churning around inside my mind. And that can be a lonely feeling sometimes. I mean, who would really understand what’s going on up there, even if I was brave enough to share it? I don’t even understand myself most of the time! All I know is that I can feel things inside me shifting and changing. New perspectives, new goals, new realizations, new questions….

And that has left me with a new desire to share…. Insert personal blog here! —- Welcome to “Charity Changes Things”! This is a space where I plan to think and feel and question and share, and to put all that down in black and white. 

Who am I anyways??…. Well for starters, I’m 35 years old, a newly married wife with a blended family, a mom of two girls, a part-time registered nurse, a Christian from childhood, a two times divorcee, a lover of books, a sufferer of chronic anxiety, and the list could go on…

But that’s only a snapshot of who I really am though. Charity as a person is ever growing and changing. I’m not who I was, and I’m also not who I will be…. Life is always changing, and we are always along for the ride, whether we like it or not. And sometimes those changes can be so hard! If we aren’t careful, we can be tempted to withdraw into ourselves in tough times; those times when we can’t sort things out enough to make them acceptable in the eyes of others…. Believe me, I’ve been there!…

OR we could instead shine some light on all the changes, including the questions and insecurities, and even the confusion in our minds. We could choose to talk it out, or type it out in this case. And we would probably find that sometimes, all the changes (the good ones, and even the really bad ones) are actually changing us. And that’s ok!…

I’m ready to shine some light on the changes I’m experiencing inside of me; on the good, the bad, and the ugly; the changes in the past, and the ones that I can feel coming. I’m ready to be ok with the person that I am right here and now, in this process of learning and growing, falling and getting up, changing and becoming.

I want to help others see that their thoughts and feelings matter, even when they don’t fully understand them, or when they feel ashamed. I want them to know that they aren’t alone. We all mess up, we all fall down. But that doesn’t have to stop us from learning, and getting back up, and growing.

I’m ready to share some things I’ve learned over the years, usually the hard way, of course. And I’m ready to share about what kept me going during the hard times: the love of my children, my family, and most of all, my God. And how I’m learning to love myself in the process of it all.

So, I’m starting this journey of blogging in hopes that someone will be inspired along the way; inspired to share their journey, despite their uncertainties and insecurities; to share what they’ve learned along the way. You don’t have to wait until you have it all together and figured out to make a difference. Someone somewhere needs to hear what you have to say and to learn from what you’ve been through.

I have lived shut off and ashamed many times in my life. Feeling like what do I have to offer or to say? I’m a mess!…. But that’s ok, and I want other moms and wives and people in general to know that. You still have so much of value to offer to this world and to those around you!

So I guess that’s what I’m doing here…. I’m opening up my laptop, and my heart, to you….

Because life is always changing, love changes things, and I’m changing too. <3